Monthly Archives: February 2012
I feel like this post is so cliche, but at the same time, I will remember how to hate myself, if I don’t write it. I had no intentions of writing another blog post until I returned, once again, to the topic of Sex Trafficking and wrote a blog commissioned by my good friend Tiffany Beard. It was this article, however, that propelled me into writing this post. For so many reasons, I feel like Seth does in this article. While I am not bisexual, I find myself feeling much of his pain. I constantly find myself in situations where I am supposed to choose a side. In most things in life, I do. That is not my problem. What hurts is when the people you love tell you, or at least imply, for a myriad of reasons, to dislike, or hate another person that they are done with. I found myself in that situation once again tonight. I was to text a person, whom I was supposed to be hating, to gain information, and instead found myself consoling this persons broken heart. It was then that I realized I had forgotten how to hate.
While the above situation may seem childish and petty, and in many ways it is, it is only a minor example of a growing problem. Sitting here, listening to Fever Ray, I realized that this was just a minor slice of a larger symptom I find in life. Time and again, people, institutions, culture, society, tell me who and what I should hate, but I realize hate has left me. It’s a strange mercy, but one I am grateful for. I often find that even the priesthood of open-mindness and those who claim unconditional love, have group they too hate. I am not taking up the argument of is hate learned or innate, but I do know one thing. We can all forget how to hate.
I have nothing more profound. No pictures, no more links. I am not even going to give the reader a challenge to forget how to hate. Do that has to be something that one comes to on their own terms on their own time. I simply say think about forgetting.
I am one of the millions of people the Western model of education has failed. When talking about Myer-Briggs classification of Jungian personality types, I come out to INFP (Introverted, iNtutive, Feeler, Perceiver). This is not important except for a few quick facts I would like to mention.
1. INFP is one of the rarest of the 16 personality combinations. It is also the personality type that has the greatest amount of gifted people.
2. It is not until later in life this giftedness is realized. In fact, I think as a type in general, we are all late at seeing the unique things we bring to the table. The Western model of education (especially since the passage of No Child Left Behind in America) relies heavily on standardized testing. We do not do well on tests. (This is something that is general of most Introverts of any type). It is not until we develop life experiences outside the classroom that we find our gifts.
I did not understand myself for much of my life so far, and many others have had a hard time understanding me as well. I thought I was certifiably crazy until I picked up this book a few weeks ago:
The problem was not that I was crazy. The problem is that I am an introvert living in an extrovert world, and since I was different, I automatically assumed something was terribly wrong with me. Now I understand myself, and realize that I am not crazy at all. This book was not the only thing I picked up. I also managed to pick up a copy O Magazine.
When it comes to my schooling, I will admit I have been quite the slacker. Both due to the fact that I do not learn in the way most of my educators have presented material to me and also because I felt I was stupid, and therefore should not try. There were other reasons too, but these are the main two. It wasn’t until I found myself in grad school that I started to think maybe I wasn’t so stupid after all, and maybe if I could figure out what I really wanted to study and do with life, school would be fun again.
Over the course of a year and a half, I have started enjoying school, and life again. I realize now that what I had to do was unlearn much about what I knew. I have recently unlearned a lot by reading The Introvert Advantage. I have unlearned from many other sources as well. My life has often progressed topsy-turvy and backwards, but for me, it has been the only way that has made any sense.
With all these things I have talked about so far in mind, imagine the smile of my soul when I came across this page while flipping through O magazine:
The text is hard to read in this picture, but it simple reads: “I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught. -Georgia O’Keefe.” Meditate on this thought for a minute. On starting over by stripping away what one has been taught.
Only minutes later, I found myself wasting time on
This is the heart of what I wanted to say in this post. I don’t agree necessarily that the future is unwritten. In many ways, it has already been carved out. The thought occurred to me, however, the the future can be changed. The way to do this is by unwriting it, and to unwrite it, we must start anew, stripping away what we have been taught.
INFP’s are called the Idealist Healers. We are a set of people who wish to change the world for the better and often, each in our own way, do. I wish to do so, but before I can, I must unlearn to unwrite. After that, I will have a blank page on which to create the world how I wish it to be.
So I leave you with this final thought: What do you need to unlearn in order to unwrite the future that is waiting for you in order to have a clean page on which to write the future you wish to create?